I was minding my own business when this dude came to sit next to me. He looked at me expecting a) a smile or b) a 'hi'. Well, dude got a plain 'c'. (c= no reaction). This is a dude that I don't know, so kila mtu ashike lake.
A minute later he decides to break the ice with three simple words - 'I saw you'. I stopped reading my book and wondered what I should say. With temperatures as high as 34°C I can assure you that the words that were on my tongue were not sugar-coated. I thought of gasping out loud, 'Oh my God, I forgot to put on my invisibility cloak', or act surprised and say, 'Realllllllly? oh cooool!!!' But since kesho ni Sunday, I decide to listen to the angel on the right and keep quiet, I just looked at him and kept reading.
There are times when you will know if someone is in the talking mood or not. I wasn't, and this dude could not figure that out. So he decides to start a feeble conversation starting with the usual I-have-seen-you-around line. I decide to leave my reading because this broda gon talk long-oh. He goes on to ask if I have also seen him around. I simply tell him no, sorry never have. Dude sees the opportunity to go on rambling.
Dude: Where you come from?
Chatterly:(hmmm should I say I come from Tuvalu? my angel shakes his head.)
Dude: I knew! I can see it in your face.
Chatterly:(ahhh and why did you ask?)
Dude: What do you do here?
Chatterly: I study blahblah
Dude: Maybe that is where I saw you, at the uni.
Dude:Are there many Kenyans in your school?
Chatterly: Nope, just two.
Dude: But there are lots of Kenyans in this town, or?
Dude: What do they do?
Chatterly:(jamani, si the usual ama?? some soma, some jobo, some sell dope, some get laid, some knit sweaters)
how should I know?
This conversation goes on, and at some point the dude starts sticking fingers up his nose. YUCK!!! Yaani, its like he is alone in the privacy of his bathroom. I am only happy that he did not give me his hand. ewwwww!!!!! Germs tupu!
Oh, by the way the dude's name is OBI. Kidogo nimuulize Obi nani? Obie Trice ama Obi wan kenobi?