Taking it day by day: August 2006

You got e-mail

Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I am a person who learned, after a long time though, why you should not dish out your cell number to every jack and frank. Saying that I don't have a cell phone or *give me your number, I'll call you* has saved me the anguish of getting called at odd hours being invited for dinner/bed/breakfast/the future.

I met a dude the other day who asked for my no. I just told him I have no cell, but you can have my email address, write me something! He took the address, and wrote promptly! I thought those funny emails that people write when they are in Form Two ziliisha fashion but lo! here I was reading from xyz. I had to laugh. I did not reply. What do you say to a grown man who writes you this????

Hello ,
I have the feeling that this piece of mail will reach you in a perfect state of mind and in a better healthy codition. I know u will be surprised to recieve this since you do not expect it but please do not be embarrassed. All things being equal, i have decided to write & hope u will congitate before making a move. I came accross you and decided to talk to you after being captivated & captured. Although, we do not know each other well but I will really like to have you as a girlfriend .While I hope to hear from you soon, I also look forward to receiving some information concerning you and your personal life experiences. This will give us the opportunity of knowing each other better and be able to understand ourselves more. I wait to hear from you soon through this email address......

Netherlands' coffeeshops and expensive hobbies

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Lately I have been frequenting a certain coffeeshop in Maastricht. Coffeeshops in Holland are joints licensed to sell weed. These coffeeshops can sell weed but not alcoholic drinks. It is funny to see guys puffing away on their joints while sipping Fanta/Coke.

I have this new found friend who can't do without weed. It is sad. He is addicted to that stuff, he says he needs it so that he can relax, otherwise he really has to think alot. Like who doesn't think alot? His hobby doesn't come cheap either. 1 gram of this stuff goes for anything between 5-9 Euros. We all know that one gram is nothing, the maximum you can buy at one go is 5 grams. Since this buddy buys only the best quality, he usually parts with 45Euros each time he goes to get his *medicine*. The five grams don't last long, so in a week he makes 2 trips to Maastricht - a two hour return drive.

When I think about the amount of money he spends weekly on weed I think of other ways he could use the money. Like buy food for himself - his fridge is always empty and then he has the nerve to say he is broke?????!!!! The guy is not a youngster by the way....he is in his early forties, I thought when you get to that age you are usually wiser. Now you see what drugs do to you.

Tight, tighter?

Friday, August 11, 2006
Early this year when I was in Kenya I found myself in a shop that sold all kinds of things - from perfume to buttons, underwear to make-up, bridal tiaras to buibuis, beads to sequins. I am busy looking at the beads and buttons, don't even ask why, I just love looking at them...then comes this attendant holding something in her hand.

She smiles, I smile and then she goes ahead to market her product. "Auntie, kuna hii sabuni naona itakufaa. Bei yake nafuu!" OK, so they sell soap too! Cool! I ask her what kind of soap it is...I thought maybe it is an antiseptic sabuni like dettol, or maybe it has stuff like olive oil, milk and honey which make your skin smooth. The attendant smiles and with a low voice goes on to tell me ni sabuni ya kule chini. I almost blurted "chini wapi?" then it hit me.

I had to smile. I went on to ask her what is so good about the soap, she seemed uncomfortable with having to explain about her *magic bar-o-soap* but I stood there waiting, feigning interest. She told me you use the soap to wash the vagina so that it can become tight! I looked at her like *you are kidding me, right?* She went on to say that it really works - I had to ask her if she had tried it, she said no, not yet but she was planning to buy it and use it. I looked at the bar, it just smelled like kawa sabuni with lots of perfume, a flowery cover and a promise to get your thingy tighter than tight!

I left the shop wondering how many women have bought that *sabuni ya kule chini* in an attempt to tighten things up! Who would be that gullible to believe that sabuni can do such miracles? I just wonder.